Falling Out

I remember the day I stopped loving you--you glanced lovingly in my direction and for the very first time I was disgusted by your beauty. I felt bad for you...the way one would feel when looking at a tiger in a small cage. I knew that there was no hope for you--that you were doomed to spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself. I never thought I'd meet someone who could play "the victim" better than me. Despite what you have put me through, I always seem to be the one apologizing. I became selfless when I was with you...I've never been so willing to lose myself in someone before. I never asked you to get lost too...but if you had, even just a little bit, I would have loved you forever.

Ugh

I'm pretty sure I'm going to break up with my boyfriend. I love him too much to be with him. It may not make sense to me now....and it may hurt more than I am ready for, but he isn't right for me. When I'm with him I'm comfortable--too comfortable. I want more than this. He has very few goals in life and the ones he has will never be realized because he has no gumption. I want to believe in him...that somehow he will pull himself out of his messes, but I'm starting to realize how unreliable he is. BUT I LOVE HIM..he's killing me.

Here I go again...

Something tells me that it isn't just a coincidence...the fact that every once in a while he looks like you...or sounds like you....I guess you two really are a lot alike. You both get mean when you drink. You both go on and on and on about stupid fucking shit that pisses you off. You both make me feel like a fucking crazy person. You both are wrapped up in self-pity so much that you make problems out of nothing. You both think I'm too good for you...and you are right.

He is the only person I've ever loved like this...other than you...this dysfunctional painful sort of love. Laying next to him right now, I can't decide wether to break free while I have the chance or just let myself get sucked deeper and deeper into it.

Sometimes I need to break my heart just to feel something...The pain is better than the alternative....it's the numbness that terrifies me.

So true for 80% of the people I know...myself included.

Watch "Kacey Musgraves - Merry Go 'Round" on YouTube

You will never really stack up, cannot compete with the man I once loved
How could you? You are everything he's not.
He is perfect...charming, sociable, sweet, and giving. You don't listen when I talk, rarely consider what I want, and drink too much.
How could you ever be good for me?